By Jeff Cott

 

 

About once each year a Derby City Council meeting results in some form of extended discussion on a topic that leaves me in an uncontrollable state of hysteria.   

It’s only the middle of February and I must admit, on Feb. 7, I already may have witnessed the prize-winning meeting for this year. Better yet, maybe this is just a warm up for more to come.

City Manager Kathy Sexton presented the council with her periodic list of priorities. The list was loaded with viable topics that are certain to be beneficial to our community, including topics that can potentially create citizen engagement.   

Her priorities included the obvious, like pursuing the master plan for Derby’s two newest parks, the proposed K-15 frontage road project, the development of a proposal for storm water utility, the continued exploration of adjusting the hours at city hall, and much more. There were several other priorities in her plan that will certainly require lots of research, work and discussion by the city staff and this council.  

But the priority that got the most discussion or comment had to do with poop.

That’s right, poop.  

Number 10 on the city manager’s list of priorities was to research and develop a plan to prohibit animal waste in a neighbor’s yard.  By the number of comments, time spent on discussing and reinforcing this priority, I was comforted to know that we had a council to tackle this stinky issue .. finally, community leaders that understand animal poop.  

The question is: How do you handle it? Should we provide citizens that have pets with little plastic bags and poop rakes?  

To cover the cost of the bags, we could sell the bags to businesses and put their logos on them. That way it wouldn’t cost the taxpayer any money.  

If an ordinance is passed, what should we do with citizens that rack up multiple offenses? I know – let’s tie them to a chair and make them watch local cable channel 7 for an entire day. 

 

That should stop ‘em.

Oh, yes, and what about the ducks at High Park? You know they create a lot of poop, too. 

But who do we fine? I don’t think ducks have any money to pay a fine.  

I’ve got it. We’ll find out whose idea it was to let ducks in at High Park and fine them, every time a duck poops. One idea for the duck poop came in a comment from council when the suggestion was made for people who are walking dogs to let them loose in High Park. Gee, it works for McConnell when they want to clear flight lanes. 

My sarcasm with this issue is only to present the idea that dealing with this priority is a no-brainer. When it comes time to address this issue, it’s simple – work up an ordinance, let the council tweak it a little (and I mean a little) then pass it and move on. 

Too many other issues are on the list that clearly define the future of this community in a much bigger way. 

The city staff has all the talents and abilities necessary to handle a poop ordinance, from top to bottom, without a lot of directive or guidance from this poop-experienced council.

I appreciate the passion this council has to work for our community.  I thank them for giving a journalist like me an open door to poke fun at them through this issue and I encourage them to keep their focus on the people, not the poop.

 

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